Because it's SCARY!

Awhile back, I told you that I have resolved to try to learn something new everyday.  So far, so good...with the daily news (good or bad), efforts to promote my writing, reading more and consuming network television less, going on frequent trips around Colorado, and engaging in friendly conversation wherever I can...it's all adding up.

Now, my next goal is to break out of my comfort zone.  How I plan to do this is to deliberately do things I either have longed to do, or have been to scared to try:

• Rock climbing  --  this past week, I had the chance to go to an indoor facility and watch people of various ages defy gravity, and scale the walls with the toe holds, and then seemingly float to the mat below with their rope.  Suddenly, I was fascinated, and was surprised by my thoughts of I could do this, too!  As I departed, I was astonished to hear myself tell the front-desk staffer, "I'll be back to try this."  He probably didn't believe me, but I want to surprise him.
•  Zip-lining --  I really, really hate heights.  But I love the beautiful views in the areas around the Rockies, awakened with my recent trip to Leadville.  So, I want to face this fear, and get an adrenaline rush.  Maybe I can find a group to go rafting with, too.
• Motorcycle riding --  okay, here's where you're going to think I've totally taken leave of my senses.  For quite a while now, I've thought about finding friends who would introduce me to riding one of those beautiful classic Harleys.  Don't laugh, but my parents would not permit me to learn how to ride a harmless pedal bike (I'll spare you the long story about their over-protection), so I probably would be the passenger in this scenario.  I've googled a website, www.MotorcycleRoads.com, and found a wealth of biking events where I could make some connections.

Eventually, I'll think of other things I'd like to try in 2016.  For now, it's time for sleep and to prepare for my work day tomorrow. 

The Purse

Let me begin by saying this was not the best day I've had in a while, and I'm so wound up right now that it's not going to end soon.

My tale actually started last night and into the wee hours of today, when I was up doing mind-numbing documentation that is necessary for my day job.  But....I do enjoy getting paid for my labor, and I like to have actual evidence that I provided services.  So the "docs" got done.

I hauled myself out of bed after getting perhaps four hours of shut-eye, and first did my Monday morning weigh-in, per my Weight Watchers program.  Up a pound and a half....how did that happen, especially because I've been following the program?  While eating my breakfast and tea, and after I'd logged my status on the Weight Watchers website, I did an online chat with one of their counselors, and was assured it was "normal...that my body is adjusting."  Okay....I'm not exactly sure to what my body is supposed to be "adjusting," but I'll persevere and keep reminding myself that others have done this successfully, so I should just calm down and develop some more patience with myself.

Seeing that I had to get to an early-morning appointment, I trundled out to my car with my wheeled cart loaded up with my briefcase, my laptop, my lunch bag, my purse (shown above), and my trusty psychedelic cane.  I was ready for a workday that would last till 7:30 PM, minus the drive home. While loading up my trunk, I did something I've never done...I slipped my purse off my shoulder and placed it on the pavement!  With the trunk full and hatch door down, I entered my car with my cane and lunch bag, and sped off.

I got to my first destination almost twenty miles to the northeast, and reached over to the passenger seat for my absent bag.  My realization was in the form of  "oh, s***"sheer panic...everything vital to my life, including my identification, Auto Club card, keys and cell phone, had been deserted in my apartment parking lot!  My first appointment resembled a speed-date, and I made a return trip feeling both vulnerable and naked.  This also would definitely not have been the most opportune day to get pulled over by law enforcement.

Fortune was with me.  Some kind person, part of the maintenance staff, had rescued my poor little bag and turned it into the office.  I looked toward Heaven, said a heartfelt thanksgiving prayer, and was relieved that everything that should be inside, indeed was.

As I went about the rest of my day, I pondered my earlier emotional reaction.  My purse, itself, is not a valuable accessory.  In fact, I'm kind of a traitor to my gender; I couldn't care less for "nice" bags or shoes.  This purse, as I recall, is from a Kohl's sale last fall. It's fun, with its leather tassels, and I've gotten compliments on it.  I carry as little cash, and as little personal information, as possible.  I toss my bag carelessly around--into the car, on the counter at day's end, wherever.  I guess you'll never see me toting one of those pricey Chanel clutches, right?

Still, we women have a unique relationship with our purses.  I remember being fascinated with my mother's handbag, and how carefully she kept tabs on it and organized its contents.  Fast-forward to junior high, and girls would express trust in their friends by allowing one or two close pals know what they carried around.  Purses, like our first lipsticks, were symbols of our emergence as young women.  Fast-forward even further into our futures, and most men in our lives knew better than to breach the mysteries of "the purse."  You often hear, "Oh, honey, hand me my purse," like we're Brinks armed guards.  And stories of delinquent youth, stealing from their mothers' purses, inevitably provoke outrage.

Women, especially those with families close by, are the keepers of stuff.  Have you noticed that moms and grandmas, when on family outings, are asked, "Can you hold onto this for me?"  And that's what purses do; help us in our role as the guardians of family stuff.  Men are no fun--so minimalist with their wallets!

And what about the chaos that can ensue when we change purses?   We omit crucial items, and have a hard time adjusting to a new shape and feel.  Kind of like starting a new relationship.  

So, today's beginning gave me a lot to think about.  When I retrieved my purse, the joy and relief was similar to being reunited with a lost companion.  And with its multiple pockets, inside and out, it is a helper, an organizer in what can be whirlwind days.  Having important items close by gives me a sense of security.  At the risk of hyperbole, it truly is a part of me.

July 5th and Beyond--Finding Meaning Behind the Holiday

OK, the fireworks have been shot off and the Parks and Recreation folk will be busy picking up after all the revelry in the public spaces.  In private homes, people will be gathering up bottles and cans, and scraping off the grill.  Ah, the price we pay for fun!

What if every day could be an independence day?

I know that a lot of talk goes on about the history behind the holiday.  For those of us who are history nerds, we like to root around on library sites and try to find out little-known back stories about our founders and the major events of which we were taught in history class.

That's great.  But what does it really mean to be independent?  That's something that I think we should be always considering.  During this current presidential campaign whirlwind, it's good to turn off CNN, step away from the Facebook posts, put down the newspaper--and take a breath or two.  Reflect on what the results will mean for you individually, independently from what others tell you they should.  It is our right, our privilege and our responsibility to take the time to do this.

I'm wondering what Thoreau (one of my heroes) would say about all the rhetoric and predictions, if we could channel his wisdom from Walden.  I'm going find my copy of Walden this week and re-read it.

I don't want this post to be a neatly-wrapped "How to be Independent" presentation  even if that were possible.  Rather, I want to challenge each person--and myself--to reflect on how to be more self-aware, which can lead to our knowing what we need from this world, and what we can bring to it.  And that, my friends, can lead to the noblest form of personal independence.